In an attempt to get rid of the junk I accidentally deleted my last voicemails from a friend who has passed. A spark of panic followed by frantic un-delete attempts followed by a downward cast head. Then I thought of the cloud and backups. I briefly tried the cloud but quickly retreated and let them go. I mourned the loss.

I say mourn because it felt/feels like that but I’m also getting how strange and perhaps silly this all is to feel the pang of digital loss. What a world the still living of us live in.

It reminded me of that time my AC/DC High Voltage audio-tape got pulled out of cassette and tangled and I could never get it rewound. Even in the analog realm there are these types of loss. Difference is I could always replace High Voltage, I can’t ever get those voicemails back.

I’m a nostalgic pack rat so I do have other notes/pictures/tangibles from this friend but there is something about a voice that is impossible to recreate. It is in fact a loss. I’m giving myself that grace.

All of our still living voices—> let’s listen extra hard to each other while we can.

This is who we have=become/are now.

Island Life(s).

I went looking for gold and found people. Or was I looking for people and struck gold? Either way.

I thought I was the one sharing but it’s my kid that brought me back to music.

Gratitude.

Brew.

So I’m rambling in a thoughtful way if you’ll allow it.

And like Gary Payton or Queen or Friendships some things get better with age. Then you get a spoon but it’s not just any spoon–> because it’s built by hands you know from a place you know. Deep without digging.

And a very seen willow that does look better with age yet is worse for the wear might come down soon. It is beautiful but has done damage and then the healing. Things like this/these intersect/conflict. They intertwine and are anchored at precise points but still blow in the wind.

And so I sit under the tree in a GP shirt listening to Queen while holding a fork.

And if any of this makes sense you should be checked or check in because I’m rambling right now. If not OK. Many thanks either way.