I am a lonely American.  And this is not the American Dream I had.

I have my Family, my legs, my tickets to the next show, the North Cascades in my view,                sure I’m blessed.

But strictly speaking as an American, as a Citizen,    right now I’m Lonely.

We packed it & them up, left our cave and found our treasure along the Oregon Coast.

–> Surrounded by wires staring at a screen right now, but this smell or feeling lingers as if parts of us are still there/there still here.

 

On water

 

Summer-mode up in here is busy,  but then it’s not.

The sun works hard from 4:30am-10pm.

We also work hard, zip and juggle, but then we get slushies.

 

 

 

I know this was/&is  a buzzword but I’ll saw right through it & use it any way,

’cause I’m believing it  hard right now   —>

 

“Every – thing      is on a spectrum.”

 

 

 

*(insert picture of your own choosing here,    because it’s every  thing   you know)

 

 

If you looked up 16-17 year old me in the dictionary you would find Soundgarden.

Chris Cornell, rest peacefully free from rusty cages.

 

 

 

 

 

Troubling to think about all the stuff I’ve forgotten or the OS has deleted from mind.

And it’s not cool actually it stings my head to stare directly at a piece of art not knowing who painted it but knowing without doubt that I used to know. To address that I don’t anymore know how to pronounce Thich Nhat Hanh is hard.

I’m not talking so much about memories or experiences, those I’m remarkably good at recalling to this point. And band names I’m still holding on to hard but even some of those are getting deleted. I try to grow my OS and make more space     but I know it is limited and some stuff must go.

 

It makes sense but is still so weird to look right at it and remember it but not remember it.

 

New life.

 

 

 

10 – 15 is about how long I can stand listening to myself.

But I could listen for days to how ball players picked their number, or their number picked them.